Stupid Votes

Michael Jackson Causes Congressional Walkouts

2009-07-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

Don't get too excited now; Stupid Votes is still on hiatus. This issue, however, is so stupid, that it acted as a stupid vacuum that sucked a Stupid Votes post out of said hiatus.

It all started with Michael Jackson.

House Resolution 600: Honoring an American Legend and Musical Icon.

Not only is this resolution stupid for many reasons I have explained on countless occasions, but this particular resolution seems to have special significance. It has caused much more passion and uproar that I can remember seeing in congress for at least a couple of years.

It was all started by Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, who is responsible for an amazing array of congressional stupidity (bills, resolution, speeches, etc.) that seem to be there for no purpose other than to waste everyone's time. She brought a framed copy of this resolution to Jackson's memorial, promising that it would pass in congress. Then, in an amazing move, when it was introduced in the House, many of the republican representatives walked out.

I kid you not.

When was the last time you remember hearing about a congressional walkout on the federal level? I'm sure it has happened before, but I can't remember the last time.

Their objection, of course, relates to the charges of sexual misconduct, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that both sides shamed themselves by spending so much time on this issue and accomplishing nothing. They shamed themselves by bringing more passion and outrage to this issue than they bring to feeding the poor, or healing the sick, or teaching the children or debating the wars.

Whether or not to honor Michael Jackson is not their concern. Maybe if the Democrats had walked out before the war in Iraq, we would have hesitated before diving into the mess we made there. Maybe if the Republicans had walked out before the financial bailouts, billions of dollars of taxpayer money wouldn't have been fed to the corporate wealthy with little apparent effect. But this?

This is sick.

Stupid Votes On Haitus

2009-05-11T13:20:00.001-07:00

Well, I really hate to do this, but Stupid Votes is taking way too much of my time right now. As much as I've automated it, it still requires daily work to keep the stats updated, and it's just a little much for me right now with my busy life.

But fear not! I have been having a lot of fun on this project, and Stupid Votes will return! The stats will be frozen until further notice, but I may post an article now and then when inspiration strikes. And Stupid Votes will return in full force with fully updated stats and lots of new articles during the next election season. I hope to see you all then!

I'll keep the current stats up; the first four months of 2009 should be enough to let you know where people stand.

So until I return, so long!

-The Management

Proper Use of the Congressional Gold Medal

2009-05-01T16:15:00.000-07:00

Just when you think it can't get any stupider...

Congress is going through the process of awarding the Congressional Gold Medal. For those of you who don't know, the Congressional Gold Medal is the highest civilian award the United States Congress can bestow. Specifically, it is awarded as the highest expression of national appreciation for distinguished achievements and contributions. Examples of people who have received the gold medal are George Washington, Thomas Edison, and Rosa Parks. Well, it seems as if they're going to award it again.

To a golfer.

House Bill 1243: To provide for the award of a gold medal on behalf of Congress to Arnold Palmer in recognition of his service to the Nation in promoting excellence and good sportsmanship in golf.

Yeah. And the Congressional Gold Medal isn't something that is taken lightly; there are a lot of requirements to get it through Congress. A bill has to be cosponsored by two-thirds of the House or the Senate before the committees will even look at it. And with a whopping 302 cosponsors, this one has made it through the House.

These guys realize that there are already awards for golf, right?

Congress Likes Statues

2009-04-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've spoken before about my belief that post office designations are stupid votes because the work is trivial and beneath the things that the congress needs to be worrying about. I've suggested setting up an independent committee to handle such things. Well, that's not the only committee that needs to be created.

House Concurrent Resolution 101: Providing for the acceptance of a statue of Ronald Wilson Reagan from the people of California for placement in the United States Capitol.

Do we really need to be taking up the congress's time passing bills to decorate the United States Capitol? Sure, I know a lot of them like Reagan and all and want to honor his memory, but do we need to (literally) make a federal issue out of it? Set up an independent committee to do the work of figuring out which historical figure matches the carpets best and get on with the real work.

Congress Search Is Here!

2009-04-03T16:10:00.000-07:00

So you know how I've been promising the capability to search for congresspeople state-by-state? Well, that's still coming, but in the meantime, I have just put up a brand-spanking-new zip code search form! Now you can type your zip code on the right (five or nine digits), and your congresspeople will be displayed. If your zip code spans more than one congressional district, all the congresspeople that represent any part of your zip code will be displayed. When you click on one of them, you'll be treated to a list of all stupid bills and resolutions they've sponsored this year!

I've already used the form to discover that my representative has not sponsored one stupid resolution this year. Not. A. One. I knew there was a reason I liked the guy.

I will soon be adding the state search to the right as well, along with a longitude/latitude search (just because it's cool and I can). Enjoy!

Hooray for... store signs?

2009-04-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's right. In a brand-new grade A piece of stupidity, the House passed the following resolution:

House Resolution 298: Congratulating the on-premise sign industry for its contributions to the success of small businesses.

Alright, guys! You're doing a great job making signs for stores and businesses and stuff! Because the world would fall apart if it weren't for your valiant efforts!

What. The. Hell.

Seriously, here's the main piece of the legislation:

Resolved, That the House of Representatives (1) applauds the United States Small Business Administration for educating small business owners on the benefits of using well-placed, well-designed on-premise signs to overcome competitive disadvantages in the areas of marketing and advertising, and (2) encourages the on-premise sign industry to continue its efforts to produce a new and greater understanding of how to develop safer, more effective, and more affordable signage products so as to alleviate small businesses' competitive disadvantages in marketing and advertising.

Do I really need to say anything more about the stupidity of our government?

Breakfast: Congress Likes It

2009-03-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

Nope, I'm not kidding you. During my brief absence, both the House and the senate passed breakfast resolutions! Here they are:

Senate Resolution 67: A resolution expressing the sense of the Senate that providing breakfast in schools through the national school breakfast program has a positive impact on the lives and classroom performance of low-income children.

House Resolution 210: Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that providing breakfast in schools through the National School Breakfast Program has a positive impact on classroom performance.

Yep, both the House and the Senate, in all their glory, felt the need to say how awesome the school breakfast program is. Did they pass legislation to allocate funds designated to expand or support the program? No. Did they create a commission to study its success and recommend similar programs in other areas? No. As usual, they patted themselves on the back and made a big show of how awesome they are.

Good job, guys.

A New Kind of Stupid Vote

2009-03-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought things couldn't get more stupid, congress gives me a reason to add a whole new variety of stupid votes to the list. So with no further ado, the issue in question is this:

House Bill 131: To establish the Ronald Reagan Centennial Commission.

For those of you who liked Reagan, let me assure you that my reasons for adding this to Stupid Votes has absolutely nothing to do with him or his politics. My concern is the nature of the commission that this bill attempts to create. I took a look at the text of this bill; let me quote a choice snippet:

The Commission shall--

(1) plan, develop, and carry out such activities as the Commission considers fitting and proper to honor Ronald Reagan on the occasion of the 100th anniversary of his birth;

(2) provide advice and assistance to Federal, State, and local governmental agencies, as well as civic groups to carry out activities to honor Ronald Reagan on the occasion of the 100th anniversary of his birth;

(3) develop activities that may be carried out by the Federal Government to determine whether the activities are fitting and proper to honor Ronald Reagan on the occasion of the 100th anniversary of his birth...

Yes, you read that right. The people cannot be trusted to properly celebrate Reagan's birth on their own; we have to create a whole new government bureaucracy to determine in what manner it is right and proper to honor him. This sort of thing disgusts me. If people really want to honor Reagan, do they really need a government commission to hand-hold us in the process? Is that the purpose of government?

Really?

Stupid Votes is back!

2009-03-17T13:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the extended absence, guys. I've been working on several projects, not the least of which is the creation of new tools to help me more easily track new stupid bills and resolutions. You'll noticed that I've just updated the Worst Offenders list to make it current to today. You'll also notice if you dig deep that there are a few bugs in it. Bear with me; I'm still getting it converted to the new system.

The new system allows me to use data from http://www.govtrack.us/ to more automatically fill out the Stupid Votes database with new congresspeople and stupid resolutions. It will never be completely automated, because there isn't any way for me to tell the server what is and is not a stupid vote, but now the process is little more than clicking a few buttons on my part.

So it is with a big thank you to the guys at GovTrack that I will be posting again, starting with a few of the more egregious examples of stupid bills and resolutions that came up over my absence.

This is Getting Ridiculous

2009-02-26T08:31:00.000-08:00

Seriously. Here are the six stupid items from the past two days. I'm not kidding! Six items! See for yourself:

House Resolution 18: Honoring the life, achievements, and contributions of Paul Newman.

House Resolution 47: Supporting the goals and ideals of Peace Officers Memorial Day.

House Resolution 83: Recognizing the significance of Black History Month.

House Resolution 180: Supporting the goals and ideals of the third annual America Saves Week.

Senate Concurrent Resolution 8: A concurrent resolution expressing support for Children's Dental Health Month and honoring the memory of Deamonte Driver.

Senate Bill 234: A bill to designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 2105 East Cook Street in Springfield, Illinois, as the "Colonel John H. Wilson, Jr. Post Office Building".

I took time to look deeper into the actions of Congress in the past two days. Here is the time they took to "debate" and vote on these items:

House Resolution 18: 16 minutes
House Resolution 47: 13 minutes
House Resolution 83: 28 minutes
House Resolution 180: 20 minutes
Senate Concurrent Resolution 8: 1 minute
Senate Bill 234: 15 minutes
Total: 93 minutes

That's right, people. An hour and a half. This is what I'm talking about when I rant about wasting time. This is why I add seemingly important and worthy things to my list of stupid votes; the time taken out for these things adds up fast and doesn't do anything to solve the problems in which this country is mired. Congress took an hour and a half of precious floor time over the past two days to bring these things up. That's not including the inane things they discussed but never included in a resolution; that would have added at the very least another half hour. And we wonder why the government tends to move slowly.

EDIT: Just to clarify, I mentioned S.234 again because it passed in the House over the past two days, and had passed the Senate Monday. I can put it in twice if I want to.

The Senate really, really wants you to read!

2009-02-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

So the Senate once again decided to take it upon themselves to take time out and promote a very worthwhile activity without actually doing something useful to support it. But if that weren't bad enough, they did it in an insane, redundant manner. Here's yesterday's stupidity from congress, including the item I'm ranting about today:

House Resolution 132: Honoring the life and memory of the Chiricahua Apache leader Goyathlay or Goyaale, also known as Geronimo, and recognizing the 100th anniversary of his death on February 17, 2009, as a time of reflection and the commencement of a "Healing" for all Apache people.

Senate Resolution 52: A resolution designating March 2, 2009, as "Read Across America Day".

Senate Bill 234: A bill to designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 2105 East Cook Street in Springfield, Illinois, as the "Colonel John H. Wilson, Jr. Post Office Building".

Of course, I'm speaking of Senate Resolution 52, "Read Across America Day". I've already written at least three times why I believe it to be absolutely nutty to declare all of these national days, weeks, and months. However, I did a little extra research on this one. The thing that makes this one particularly insane is that we already have it. Actually, we have ten of them! A day, three weeks, and six months:

April 28: Great Poetry Reading Day
First week of May: Reading Is Fun Week
Third week of October: Teen Read Week
Second week of November: Children's Book Week
January: National Book Month
May: Get Caught Reading Month
October: National Reading Group Month
October: National Book Month
October: National Book Fair Month
December: Read a New Book Month

Granted, not all of these were declared by the US government, but do we really need another one? Really?

What makes a vote stupid?

2009-02-23T08:34:00.000-08:00

Over the month or so that I've been operating this website, I've occasionally stopped to explain why I believe votes on certain kinds of bills or resolutions are stupid. However, I feel the need to consolidate all of that information and post it for all to see. I've developed a firm set of criteria on what makes a vote stupid: they come in several distinct categories.

1. Votes for resolutions that recognize birthdays or anniversaries
These are inane, even when you're recognizing the birthday of someone important to the history of the United States such as Lincoln or MLK. If you really want to honor these people, pass a good piece of legislation in their names; don't waste valuable floor time in their honor.

2. Votes for resolutions intended to honor someone after their death
Again, it seems like a terrible idea to "honor" someone's life by wasting valuable floor time in their name. If you really want to recognize and respect the life they led, give lofty speeches on your own time, or pass some useful bit of legislation in their name. Don't hold up the work of the country just to pay them lip service.

2.1. Votes for bills to create government bureaucracies to facilitate the honoring of someone after their death (added on 3/19/09 due to House Bill 131)
Yes, this literally happens. If it wasn't bad enough that congress is prone to honor people by wasting time, sometimes they'll go so far as to create commissions to tell everyone else how best to honor that person. Is this really the purpose of government?

3. Votes for resolutions intended to honor someone before their death
Congress seems to have a preoccupation with declaring heroes now and then. It is usually deserved and never necessary. If someone has done something heroic, we know it. We don't need congress to tell us when someone has done awesome things.

4. Votes for resolutions intended to honor places or institutions
Yeah, yeah, the college you went to just had its hundredth anniversary, or that national landmark is feeling particularly historic today. You don't need to cram it down our throats, especially at the expense of doing the nation's work.

5. Votes for resolutions that establish national days, weeks, months, and years of recognition, or worse, that recognize those that already exist
Do you realize that we're currently in National Banana Bread Day, National Personal Chef Day, National Engineers Week, National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, American Heart Month, American History Month, American Music Month, Great American Pies Month, National Cherry Month, National Grapefruit Month, National Scottish Culture Month, National Snack Food Month, National Time Management Month, National Weddings Month, National Parent Leadership Month, National Youth Leadership Month, National Sweet Potato Month, National Boost-Your-Self-Esteem Month, National Canned Food Month, National Hot Breakfast Month, National Dental Month, and National Bird Feeding Month? Do we really need more of these insane holidays that nobody has ever heard of?

6. Any, any vote that has anything to do with sports!
Of all stupid votes, this is my biggest pet peeve. It is not the job of the government to police sports, or to congratulate sports teams, or to dictate sports regulations. I don't care that they use steroids in baseball! That's baseball's problem, not the problem of the United States government.

7. Votes for congressional resolutions that congratulate congresspeople
It is a supreme irony that the simple passage of resolutions that congratulate certain congresspeople (or all congresspeople) makes congress unworthy of these congratulations. Come on guys, do good work and let history be the judge. Give me a break.

8. Votes for bills that increase congressional pay
This hasn't happened yet since I started this website, but it will. And when it does, you had better believe that I'm going to have a few words. Yeah, I'd increase my own pay if I could, but that doesn't make it right. As long as congress is wasting their time passing all the stuff I said above, they don't deserve it.

9. Votes for bills to name federal buildings
This is a bit of a sticky one. It currently requires an act of congress to name a federal building. However, it is my belief that that is absurd. Does congress really need to be spending its time picking a name for every post office and federal courthouse in the nation? Let's change that particular law and appoint some independent commission to handle those things. Congress doesn't need to be wasting their time on that stuff.

What a stupid vote is not is any vote that actually influences the way this country runs, no matter how stupid I think that influence is. I'm trying to keep my personal biases out of this (though it has been hard... so very very hard...). I'll be updating this post with more items when they come up. Feel free to leave comments with any suggestions and objections that you may have. I'll listen to them if I feel like it.

Worst Offenders List Complete(ish)

2009-02-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

So now that congress has decided to lay off the stupid votes for a few days, I decided to take the time to finalize the worst offenders list and make a few decisions about the website.

The first thing you'll notice is that I've eliminated the time wasted statistics. The reason for this is personal sanity. I actually did find a fair, accurate way to collect those statistics; I was going to tally the time each congressperson spent making lofty speeches about some senator's birthday or how some high-school basketball team made it to state (yes, that actually happened). Unfortunately, I had no way to automate the process (due mostly to the only source of these statistics that I could find), so maintaining these statistics was going to take me an hour or two on most weekdays. I'm just not willing to put that much time and energy into this website right now. I've kept the initial statistics that I gathered, but until I find some way to automate the process, I'm setting those aside.

So instead of having a time wasted section, I've decided to break the sponsorships section into two parts: house offenders and senate offenders. This should give you a better idea of what's going on and at the same time keep senators on the hook for these stupid votes. I can maintain these statistics easily with a minimum of effort on my part. So now I'm going to start on the by state section (for real this time), to give you and idea of how your senators and representatives are spending their precious floor time. Also, look for a post very soon detailing how I decide which bills and resolutions are stupid (I actually have a well-defined set if criteria for that). I'll likely put a permanent link to that post on the sidebar, along with a few others I'm planning on the general operations and policies of this website.

Enjoy!

OMG. Just... OMG.

2009-02-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right. I've been reduced to using cheesy internet acronyms. I've been beaten down by the slough of useless junk coming from the US House of Representatives. I've been trying to finalize the improvements to the Worst Offenders List, but I've been spending so much time keeping track of this garbage that I haven't had a chance to finish it. Here's what I'm talking about:

House Resolution 110: Congratulating the National Football League champion Pittsburgh Steelers for winning Super Bowl XLIII and becoming the most successful franchise in NFL history with their record 6th Super Bowl title.

House Resolution 112: Supporting the goals and ideals of American Heart Month and National Wear Red Day.

House Resolution 139: Commemorating the life and legacy of President Abraham Lincoln on the bicentennial of his birth.

House Bill 663: To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 12877 Broad Street in Sparta, Georgia, as the "Yvonne Ingram-Ephraim Post Office Building".

Football? Again? Really? Come on, guys, don't you have anything better to do? And don't even get me started on Lincoln's birthday. Yeah, let's honor a guy who did so much for the country by wasting a little bit more time in his name. I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate the things I would like to see happen: I would like to see senators and representatives vote present on these useless items in protest. I would like to see them refrain from all their useless lofty speeches (more on that soon). I would like to see people begin to pay attention to how much time their congresspeople waste on this junk and vote accordingly.

But everyone has to start small, right?

Concurrently Annoyed and Dismayed

2009-02-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

You may notice that I'm a day behind in my posts. This is because I don't post on Wednesdays anymore, and I tend to get behind a day at the latter half of the week. Why wouldn't I post Wednesdays? It's because I don't want to, and that's that. However, I'm going to catch up today by posting the last two days' worth of stupid resolutions.

House Concurrent Resolution 35: Honoring and praising the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on the occasion of its 100th anniversary.

House Resolution 71: Acknowledging the lifelong service of Griffin Boyette Bell to the State of Georgia and the United States as a legal icon.

House Resolution 117: Supporting the goals and ideals of National Engineers Week, and for other purposes.

House Resolution 129: Recognizing the historical significance of the Merced Assembly Center to the Nation and the importance of establishing an appropriate memorial at that site to serve as a place for remembering the hardships endured by Japanese Americans, so that the United States remains vigilant in protecting our Nation's core values of equality, due process of law, justice, and fundamental fairness.

House Resolution 154: Honoring John D. Dingell for holding the record as the longest serving member of the House of Representatives.

Senate Resolution 35: A resolution honoring Miami University for its 200 years of commitment to public higher education.

You may notice that I posted a new kind of stupid vote today: a concurrent resolution. I have to update the code for the website to handle those, so the Worst Offenders List may have a bug or two for the next day, but that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is the nature of that resolution. A concurrent resolution is defined as a type of measure must pass both the House and Senate, but does not become public law.

Yes, you heard me right. The House not only passed a useless do-nothing resolution, but the particular type of useless resolution they passed must also be passed in the senate!

Apparently, they really want to suck up to the NAACP, but have little interest in doing anything useful.

We're paying these people for what again?

2009-02-12T09:25:00.001-08:00

The house is at it again, passing stupid resolution after stupid resolution. What is the deal with these people? It would be difficult for them to waste more time if they tried. Here's what the House did Tuesday:

House Resolution 60: Recognizing and commending University of Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford for winning the 2008 Heisman Trophy and for his academic and athletic accomplishments.

House Resolution 114: Supporting the goals and ideals of "National Girls and Women in Sports Day".

House Resolution 128: Honoring Miami University for its 200 years of commitment to extraordinary higher education.

House Resolution 134: Recognizing the 50th Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s visit to India, and the positive influence that the teachings of Mahatma Gandhi had on Dr. King's work during the Civil Rights Movement.

Okay, I understand why congress feels the need to give props to MLK once in a while. After all, he was one of the most influential people in modern times. But seriously? "Hooray, MLK went to India?" This is silly. If you want to honor the man, pass a useful bill in his name instead of a timewasting resolution celebrating the fact that he got on a plane and flew across the ocean. If they keep this up, soon we'll be seeing resolutions like:

House Resolution 642: Recognizing the 62nd anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s visit to the corner store a few blocks from his home and the courteous nature of the clerk who assisted him.

House Resolution 10,878: Honoring the egg salad eaten by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on the morning of March 6th, 1962, and recognizing the nourishment it gave him in order to continue his work during the Civil Rights Movement.

House Resolution 5.5/Apple/26: Recognizing the marvelous dump that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. took on the evening of July 17, 1959. What an exquisite dump it was indeed.

All vulgarity aside (and really, I intend no offense to MLK), I'm trying to make a point about the behaviors of congress. It's fine to say what a great thing it was that the man went to India; I'm sure it was an influential journey. But to do it on the floor of the House of Representatives? Spending time giving lofty speeches and passing do-nothing resolutions does little to make this country a better place. Let's work on solving our problems and dedicate parts of it to Dr. King rather than wasting so much time in his name.

The Steelers Steal the Senate's Time

2009-02-06T08:28:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, the Senate once again drew itself into a pit of timewasting by taking time to congratulate the Steelers for winning the Super Bowl. Great. Here's the resolution:

Senate Resolution 27: A resolution congratulating the Pittsburgh Steelers on winning Super Bowl XLIII.

This resolution passed by unanimous consent, meaning (basically) that it was brought up on the floor, nobody objected to it, so it passed with no debate. This is how the Senate passes most of its stupid resolutions, making them more minor offenses than the lengthy debates in which the House partakes for its resolutions. I'm not letting the Senate off the hook for this; they still shouldn't be taking up floor time with this stupidity. However, you'll notice that the Worst Offenders list never lists senators in its "by Floor Time Wasted" section, mostly because of unanimous consent.

The point I'm trying to make here is that so long as these stupid resolutions are going to continue, the House needs a unanimous consent rule as well. The House usually takes 20-40 minutes for lofty "debate" before holding its stupid votes. They would waste much less valuable floor time if they incorporated this procedure in their rules.

And an update: the Senate may not be immune to the "Floor Time Wasted" list for long. I have recently found more accurate records of Senate proceedings, which include lofty speeches given in advance of unanimous consent resolutions. I will be including these in the time taken for the resolutions, which should increase them significantly. In the future, I will also likely be including wasteful speeches made that aren't attached to resolutions in my stats. I'm still deciding on how to count everything toward time totals, so watch for a post detailing my new scheme soon.

The House Opposes Stalkers... Sorta.

2009-02-05T08:46:00.001-08:00

The United States House of Representatives saw fit on Tuesday to declare support for one of our many many national weeks, and also to declare a new national month: National Stalking Awareness Month. If this weren't enough of a waste of precious government time, they made it even more ridiculous by declaring it to be last month.

No, I'm not joking. The House retroactively established a national month. These people never cease to amaze me. See for yourself:

House Resolution 82: Raising awareness and encouraging prevention of stalking by establishing January 2009 as "National Stalking Awareness Month".

House Resolution 103: Supporting the goals and ideals of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week.

The first thing I wondered was if this was a joke. Did they really declare a month for awareness of stalking to be a month that had already passed? So I thought I'd take a look at the text of good ol' House Resolution 82. It includes the following words:

...the House of Representatives urges national and community organizations, businesses in the private sector, and the media to promote awareness of the crime of stalking through National Stalking Awareness Month.

Well, that would be a lovely thought if the month hadn't already passed! It's kind of hard now for all of these organizations to "promote awareness of the crime of stalking" through a month that doesn't exist anymore. These people should be ashamed of themselves. Not only are they wasting the government's time by passing these sorts of meaningless resolutions, but the details of these resolutions are becoming downright laughable.

The Catholic Schools are Back!

2009-01-29T08:57:00.001-08:00

Remember my second rant, way back in the early days of a couple weeks ago? It concerned the peculiarity that one of the first items that is brought up in congress every year is a resolution saying how great Catholic schools are. It didn't happen last year, but my theory was that it didn't happen because congress was still in recess during Catholic Schools Week and that it might return this year.

Guess what? I was right.

Senate Resolution 22: A resolution recognizing the goals of Catholic Schools Week and honoring the valuable contributions of Catholic schools in the United States.

Yes, on Tuesday, the two senators from Louisiana brought this bill to the floor, which then passed by unanimous consent. To say nothing of the separation between church and state, why the heck are we still passing resolutions like this now? In a time when thousands of people are losing their jobs every day, and the President is trying to push through a bill to stem the tide of job losses and home foreclosures, we really don't have anything better to do than suck up to the Catholics?

Seriously?

Worst Offenders List Improvements

2009-01-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

I though I'd take some time out to let you know about the ongoing updates to this website.

You'll notice that the Worst Offenders list has changed. Specifically, the numbers next to the worst offenders themselves have become larger. This is because I have now included cosponsorships in the offender totals. Typically, these stupid resolutions have a sponsor and a number (often a large number) of cosponsors. Well, I blame cosponsors just as much as the principal sponsors for wasting the government's time, so now they won't be off the hook.

Also, you'll notice that the time wasted statistics are no longer multiples of forty minutes. The method I was using to determine time wasted usually cited the official time allocated for a debate in the House of Representatives (forty minutes) and not the actual time spent in debate (if you can call it debate). I've now come up with a method of more accurately determining the time spent on these resolutions that doesn't involve twelve-hour C-span marathons, so my statistics are now much more representative of actual time wasted.

So now the Worst Offenders list is more complete and more accurate. I'm still working out minor bugs here and there, and there will be an error or two due to the fact that I had to do some of the data entry manually, but those won't take long to fix. Once that is complete, I will start on the section that will allow you to search stupid votes by the sponsors' states and by date, among other things. Enjoy!

The House Engages in a Fit of Irony

2009-01-27T13:43:00.000-08:00

No surprise, the House of Representatives is at it again. Yesterday, they decided to parrot the Senate by saying how great the pilot of that crashed plane was (See yesterday's discussion for my parrot rant). However, they also declared yet another useless national day of recognition. Here are the resolutions:

House Resolution 31: Expressing support for designation of January 28, 2009, as "National Data Privacy Day".

House Resolution 84: Honoring the heroic actions of the pilot, crew, and rescuers of US Airways Flight 1549.

Really? Do we really need another national day? January 28 is already National Kazoo Day and National Blueberry Pancake Day. Furthermore, the choice of National Data Privacy Day is highly ironic and a bit insulting. This comes from a government that was caught indiscriminately recording the things we do online. I read the text of the resolution. It says things like "The House of Representatives ... encourages State and local governments to observe the day with appropriate activities that promote awareness of data privacy" and "The House of Representatives ... encourages individuals across the Nation to be aware of data privacy concerns and to take steps to protect their personal information online." The whole text encourages everyone else to do stuff to advance data privacy and says nothing about what the federal government needs to do about it.

What a crock.

The House Stupidly Parrots the Senate

2009-01-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

Oh yes, not to be outdone, the House of Representatives last Thursday decided to pass a couple of nonsense do-nothing resolutions that the Senate had already passed!

House Resolution 56: Designating the week of February 2 through February 6, 2009 as National School Counseling Week

House Resolution 58: Commending the University of Florida Gators for winning the Bowl Championship Series National Championship Game

Oh no, I am not kidding. I didn't post a lot of new junk last week because the congress seemed, for a brief moment, to be following President Obama's lead and getting down to the business of fixing the country. That didn't last long. Just two days after Obama took office, the stupid votes began rearing their ugly heads again.

Just to drive home the stupidity of these particular votes, let me point out that these are resolutions. Resolutions don't create laws; they are used to express support for a course of action or disapproval of something that another country did, or just as often, are used to congratulate football teams or to create unofficial weeks of recognition. Let me point out that the Senate alter-egos of these resolutions, Senate Resolution 16 and Senate Resolution 13 already did that! There is no reason for the House to stoop to their level, especially considering that the House version of these resolutions both required forty minutes of "debate". The Senate already gave these unofficial recognitions; why does the House have to waste their time acting as a stupid Senate parrot?

That's right, United States House of Representatives. I called you a stupid Senate parrot. What are you going to do about it?

The Senate Renames, Recognizes, and Congratulates the Day Away

2009-01-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

The Senate seems determined not to get any real work done. That is the only conclusion I can reach after reading the bills and resolutions that they passed on Friday. The following is a full accounting of these passed items:

Senate Resolution 15: A resolution acknowledging the lifelong service of Griffin Boyette Bell, a legal icon, to the State of Georgia and to the United States.

Senate Resolution 16: A resolution designating the week of February 2 through February 6, 2009, as "National School Counseling Week".

Senate Resolution 17: A resolution recognizing and honoring Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger III, his co-pilot Jeffrey Skiles, the crewmembers of U.S. Airways Flight 1549, and the first responders, ferry operators and tug boat drivers of New York City, for their heroic and intuitive roles in the safe emergency landing of U.S. Airways Flight 1549.

Senate Bill 273: A bill to require the designation of the federally occupied building located at McKinley Avenue and Third Street, S.W., Canton, Ohio, as the "Ralph Regula Federal Office Building and Courthouse".

Okay, I understand that people like Griffin Boyette Bell, and that school counselors need recognition, and that that plane landing in the Hudson was really cool, but can't we recognize those people in a forum other than the floor of the United States Senate? We need to be doing some hard work to get the nation on track.

The last item, however, poses a bit of a quandary, so I'd like to spend a few moments talking about it. You'll notice that it is a bill rather than a resolution. This is due to the fact that it takes an official act of congress to rename federal buildings. But really, should it?

Why is it a part of our laws that in order to rename a federal building, both chambers of congress have to take time out to agree on a name? That's a horrific waste of the precious little time that they've allocated themselves to run the country. How about we change that particular law to authorize some outside commission to handle that sort of thing? This is the sort of thing we can change to make our government more efficient and responsive to the needs of the people. So I've decided that I'm not going to let anyone off the hook for these renaming bills despite the fact that currently, only the congress is authorized to do it. We should change that law rather than wasting time on mundane items such as these. So Sherrod Brown, you're going on the Worst Offenders list too.

The Senate has a Four-Hour Nostalgiafest

2009-01-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

I would have congratulated the House and the Senate for not partaking in any stupid votes yesterday. I would have, that is, if the Senate had not done something far worse.

At about 7:30 yesterday morning Eastern time, the Senate decided to take a few moments to say farewell to Joe Biden, the incoming Vice President, and Hillary Clinton, the incoming Secretary of State. Biden had been a senator for 36 years, making him the twelfth-longest serving senator. Clinton is a former First Lady. For this occasion, I wouldn't have begrudged the Senate a few brief remarks on their behalf.

The only problem is that those brief remarks lasted over four hours.

That's right, the Senate spent half their day, covered pages and pages and pages of the congressional record, heaped praises and generally sucked up to the new Vice President and Secretary of State. Biden and Clinton themselves gave rambling speeches to drive the point home about what awesome senators they have been. What a massively unconscionable waste of time that was.

Don't get me wrong; I voted for Obama and Biden, and I'm very optimistic about what they might be able to do for the country. However, one of the things that I believe needs to be done is to cut through all of this junk and get down to the business of solving the country's problems. That is never going to happen if the congress gives hours of rambling inconsequential speeches at the drop of the hat. Cut it out, guys.

There's a reason why I chose puke green as the color scheme for this website.

The Senate likes football.

2009-01-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

We have the first of this year's super helpful and relevant sports resolutions! Looking back through historical archives, this is a disgustingly common thing. For example, the winner of the Super Bowl gets an official time-wasting congratulations most years. Yesterday, this passed in the Senate:

Senate Resolution 13: A resolution congratulating the University of Florida football team for winning the 2008 Bowl Championship Series (BCS) national championship.

No, I'm not kidding you. This is often how congress decides to spend its time. Take a look, it's even in the congressional record. I hope the gators feel good about themselves.

Really though, the BCS is a terrible system. It injects all sorts of politics into football. So maybe the Senate was just trying to turn the tables and inject some football into politics. Maybe this is a good thing. I might enjoy watching 70-year-old senators tackle the hell out of each other for the prestigious prize of an amendment allocating funds to remodel their state's zoo. It might actually make C-span exciting.

Oh wait, Taiwan already has that.

New Stupid Votes Features

2009-01-14T15:34:00.001-08:00

Oh yes, as I am slowly realizing how great of a resource this website could be, I am gradually adding new features, one by one.

If you'll allow me to direct you to the Worst Offenders list on the right, you'll notice that it looks a little different. Originally, I was going to simply base it on tags with which I was marking each post, but then I realized I could make it so, so much better. I've set up a database with two tables. One is a table of stupid resolutions passed by congress. The other is a table of the congresspeople who stupidly propose these resolutions. When I moosh the two together, out pops the new Worst Offenders list. Not only can you click on a congressperson to bring up a list of stupid resolutions they've proposed, but the whole thing is now split into two lists. The second list keeps track of how much time their resolutions waste in debate (and again, I use the term "debate" loosely).

There are more features coming in the very, very near future, such as direct links from each resolution to the post where I discuss it (read: poke fun at it). There will also be a drop down list that will allow you to find out what stupid resolutions your senator or congressperson has brought to the floor. Be sure to check that when they're up for re-election.

Enjoy!

Congress makes mentors feel special

2009-01-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Yes, the stupid votes are now rolling in with the full force of the United States Government. In the midst of a financial crisis when ideas are being thrown in left and right about what caused it and how we might fix it, the House of Representatives decided to take two hours off to contemplate three inconsequential resolutions. It's the trifecta of stupidity! Here are the three that passed yesterday:

House Resolution 41: Supporting the goals and ideals of National Mentoring Month 2009.

House Resolution 43: Recognizing the efforts of those who serve their communities on Martin Luther King Day and promoting the holiday as a day of national service.

House Resolution 50: Honoring the life of Claiborne Pell, distinguished former Senator from the State of Rhode Island.

All three prompted 40 minutes of debate (I use the term "debate" loosely), and
all three were passed by full roll-call votes. Sadly, they all passed unanimously. Not one representative voted "present" (I would applaud any representative who votes "present" on resolutions such as these in protest of the waste of the government's time).

I'm going to take a little time to discuss the most stupid of the three: the bill passed to support the goals and ideals of National Mentoring Month. This one has a special place in my heart because I myself am a mentor. And frankly, I'm insulted. I'm insulted that the government would waste so much of its time and taxpayer money to suck up to me instead of doing its job during this time of financial crisis. If you really want to honor the things I do, pass a bill to put some money in mentoring programs. Or pass a completely unrelated but useful bill in the name of mentors. Or get together in your off-hours and hold hands and sing a song. I don't care, just as long as it's not such a waste of congress's time.

Do you realize how many of these silly months have been created? January alone is National Bath Safety Month, National Book Month, National Diet Month, National Egg month, National Eye Health Care Month, National Fiber Focus Month, National Glaucoma Awareness Month, National Hobby Month, National Hot Tea Month, National Mail Order Gardening Month, National Retail Bakers Month, National Soup Month, National Stalking Awareness Month, National Volunteer Blood Donor Month, and yes, National Mentoring Month. If congress took 40 minutes out to recognize each of these months, they would be at it for ten hours! Fortunately, it's not quite that bad, but even a few is bad enough for me.

In my book, the only thing worse than taking time out to create a national month to congratulate some random group of people is taking time out again and again to re-congratulate them every time that month happens to appear. Let's cut this junk out guys, okay?

The stupid votes have commenced!

2009-01-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

After some digging and some paying of close attention, we have our first stupid vote, of sorts. Actually, it happened a few days ago.

I have been having trouble finding a concise list of all passed bills and resolutions for either the House or the Senate. I thought I had a good list, but it turned out that it was only a list of passed items that involved a roll-call vote. It doesn't show anything, for example, for resolutions that pass by unanimous consent, which seems to be how some of these get approved.

The best I have been able to do so far involves manually skimming through the Thomas database run by the Library of Congress, which lists all actions taken on all bills and resolutions. It has a search engine which theoretically should allow me to weed through them easier, but it doesn't seem to work very well.

So manually skim through the database I did, and that is how I discovered today's topic of discussion:

Senate Resolution 8: A resolution relative to the death of the Honorable Claiborne de Borda Pell, former United States Senator for the State of Rhode Island.

This passed by unanimous consent on Tuesday, one day before I originally talked about it.

Now I know that this is a more sensitive issue than the stupid votes relating to catholic schools and baseball that I intend to talk about most of the time, so let me make myself very clear. I think it's right and proper for the Senate to honor one of its fallen former members if that is what they wish to do. However, I would rather they do it on their own time, when congress is not in session, instead of taking time away from working on this country's problems.

This was passed by unanimous consent, which doesn't take a lot of the Senate's time, making this very much a lesser offense. Due to that and the fact that I already added Senator Harry Reid to the Worst Offenders list because of this and other resolutions, I will refrain from bumping him up the list for this. However, this is the sort of resolution that could easily lead to long-winded proclamations about the life and accomplishments of a former senator, and those do take significant time away from the Senate (this has happened many times before even without a resolution). I would rather this sort of thing not be brought up in an official capacity while the Senate is in session.

Honestly, I am sympathetic to those who have lost a colleague, but let's honor these people by doing good work in their names and not by delaying needed proceedings to pass unnecessary resolutions.

Catholic schools feel honored again and again and again...

2009-01-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

While waiting for this year's first stupid resolutions to come up for a vote, I decided to look at historical records to see how long I would have to wait. It turns out that this year, they're a bit slow on the uptake. Usually, stupid votes are among Congress's first few at the beginning of the new year. This year, there have been six votes and none of them are stupid.

However, as I was going back through the historical records, I discovered an odd pattern. I noticed several years where the same inane resolution was one of the first to be brought up for a vote in the House. Again and again this resolution was passed. I dug a little deeper and here's what I found:

2001 Senate Resolution 24: Honoring the contributions of Catholic schools.

2002 House Resolution 335: A resolution honoring the contributions of Catholic Schools.

2003 House Resolution 26: Honoring the Contributions of Catholic Schools

2004 House Resolution 492: Honoring the Contributions of Catholic Schools

2005 House Resolution 23: Honoring the Contributions of Catholic Schools

2006 House Resolution 657: Honoring the Contributions of Catholic Schools

2007 House Resolution 51: Honoring the Contributions of Catholic Schools

Seriously guys? On January 29, 2002, just four and a half months after the terrorist attacks of September 11th of the previous year, the United States House of Representatives decided that instead of spending time solving the nation's problems and making the nation safer, they wanted to spend forty minutes debating exactly how to congratulate Catholic schools for being awesome. Fourty Minutes! And then they passed resolution after resolution every year since, except for 2008. This is the kind of thing that makes me sick. And it's always one of the first things on the agenda. Look, I made a cool chart:

Take a look there at 2004. In a year when we were at war, the first order of business for the House was to say what a great thing it is that we have Catholic schools. Item number one! And you may tell me, "But Joe, Catholic School Week is in January, so it has to be one of the first things they do," to which I say no. This sort of junk should always be on the bottom of the agenda for our highest institutions of government.

Fortunately, 2008 seems to have broken the tradition. Will it rear its ugly head again this year? If it does, I would encourage our Representatives to vote Present in protest of the wasting of our time on these things when there are so many bigger tasks to be accomplished.

The stupid votes are coming!

2009-01-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

So I said below that congress likes to wait a bit for people to stop paying attention before working on their time-waster resolutions. Well, I was wrong. I took a peek at the congressional activities since the eleventy-first congress convened, and here is just some of what I found:

House Resolution 6: Recognizing the significant contribution coaches make in the life of children who participate in organized sports and supporting the goals and ideals of National Coaches Appreciation Week.

House Resolution 16: Supporting the goals and ideals of National Life Insurance Awareness Month.

House Resolution 18: Honoring the life, achievements, and contributions of Paul Newman.

Senate Resolution 5: A resolution expressing the support for prayer at school board meetings.

Senate Resolution 7: A resolution expressing the sense of the Senate regarding designation of the month of November as "National Military Family Month".

Senate Resolution 8: A resolution relative to the death of the Honorable Claiborne de Borda Pell, former United States Senator for the State of Rhode Island.

Now, I'm not saying these things aren't important. I'm sure they're very meaningful to a number of people. I'm saying that passing these resolutions aren't congress's job! Let's appoint some outside commission to do this junk and let the congress fix things like, oh, I dunno.. the economy!

Just sayin'.

For the record, none of these have passed yet. I just dug deeply through congressional records to see what was coming. I had to sift through a lot of stuff to find these, so I'm not going to make a habit of it. However, when and if these resolutions (and others) come up for a vote, you had better believe you'll hear about it.

For now, I'm going to make the three people who introduced these resolutions the charter members of the Worst Offenders list.

Stupid Votes is online!

2009-01-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

Hello! Let me introduce myself. I am Joe Space Tourist, or rather, that is what I call myself here. I call myself that because of the other website I run by the same name. That website is primarily about space tourism, but I find myself ranting frequently about political issues.

In particular, one of my biggest pet peeves is the amount of time and resources that are wasted by congress, and how few people are aware of it. It's incredible how much time they waste voting on resolutions to say how awesome the American flag is or holding hearings on baseball games. These things have no place in our congress; they have bigger fish to fry, and they already have far too little time to take care of the nation's business between all of the vacations and fundraising. Sometimes they do it to hide earmarks. Sometimes they do it to avoid discussing embarrassing issues. And sometimes they do it for no reason that is apparent to me. In any case, it makes the government less effective and less transparent. And if they're going to waste their time with this junk instead of doing their jobs, they should be fired.

So my mission here is to make more people aware of this travesty, and to provide a few good laughs in the process. I'll keep a tally on the left of the worst offenders: the people who introduces stupid bills, the people who hold stupid hearings, and the like. I may think of a few creative ways to track other statistics too.

And I will start with the eleventy-first congress, which convened yesterday. The stupid votes don't usually start popping up when a new congress has just convened and everyone is actually paying attention, so it may be a bit of time before I post the first. But when it happens, I'll be right here to make fun of them.

Enjoy!