Michael Jackson Causes Congressional Walkouts

Don't get too excited now; Stupid Votes is still on hiatus. This issue, however, is so stupid, that it acted as a stupid vacuum that sucked a Stupid Votes post out of said hiatus.

It all started with Michael Jackson.

House Resolution 600: Honoring an American Legend and Musical Icon.

Not only is this resolution stupid for many reasons I have explained on countless occasions, but this particular resolution seems to have special significance. It has caused much more passion and uproar that I can remember seeing in congress for at least a couple of years.

It was all started by Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, who is responsible for an amazing array of congressional stupidity (bills, resolution, speeches, etc.) that seem to be there for no purpose other than to waste everyone's time. She brought a framed copy of this resolution to Jackson's memorial, promising that it would pass in congress. Then, in an amazing move, when it was introduced in the House, many of the republican representatives walked out.

I kid you not.

When was the last time you remember hearing about a congressional walkout on the federal level? I'm sure it has happened before, but I can't remember the last time.

Their objection, of course, relates to the charges of sexual misconduct, but that doesn't really matter. What matters is that both sides shamed themselves by spending so much time on this issue and accomplishing nothing. They shamed themselves by bringing more passion and outrage to this issue than they bring to feeding the poor, or healing the sick, or teaching the children or debating the wars.

Whether or not to honor Michael Jackson is not their concern. Maybe if the Democrats had walked out before the war in Iraq, we would have hesitated before diving into the mess we made there. Maybe if the Republicans had walked out before the financial bailouts, billions of dollars of taxpayer money wouldn't have been fed to the corporate wealthy with little apparent effect. But this?

This is sick.

Stupid Votes On Haitus

Well, I really hate to do this, but Stupid Votes is taking way too much of my time right now. As much as I've automated it, it still requires daily work to keep the stats updated, and it's just a little much for me right now with my busy life.

But fear not! I have been having a lot of fun on this project, and Stupid Votes will return! The stats will be frozen until further notice, but I may post an article now and then when inspiration strikes. And Stupid Votes will return in full force with fully updated stats and lots of new articles during the next election season. I hope to see you all then!

I'll keep the current stats up; the first four months of 2009 should be enough to let you know where people stand.

So until I return, so long!

-The Management

Proper Use of the Congressional Gold Medal

Just when you think it can't get any stupider...

Congress is going through the process of awarding the Congressional Gold Medal. For those of you who don't know, the Congressional Gold Medal is the highest civilian award the United States Congress can bestow. Specifically, it is awarded as the highest expression of national appreciation for distinguished achievements and contributions. Examples of people who have received the gold medal are George Washington, Thomas Edison, and Rosa Parks. Well, it seems as if they're going to award it again.

To a golfer.

House Bill 1243: To provide for the award of a gold medal on behalf of Congress to Arnold Palmer in recognition of his service to the Nation in promoting excellence and good sportsmanship in golf.

Yeah. And the Congressional Gold Medal isn't something that is taken lightly; there are a lot of requirements to get it through Congress. A bill has to be cosponsored by two-thirds of the House or the Senate before the committees will even look at it. And with a whopping 302 cosponsors, this one has made it through the House.

These guys realize that there are already awards for golf, right?

Congress Likes Statues

I've spoken before about my belief that post office designations are stupid votes because the work is trivial and beneath the things that the congress needs to be worrying about. I've suggested setting up an independent committee to handle such things. Well, that's not the only committee that needs to be created.

House Concurrent Resolution 101: Providing for the acceptance of a statue of Ronald Wilson Reagan from the people of California for placement in the United States Capitol.

Do we really need to be taking up the congress's time passing bills to decorate the United States Capitol? Sure, I know a lot of them like Reagan and all and want to honor his memory, but do we need to (literally) make a federal issue out of it? Set up an independent committee to do the work of figuring out which historical figure matches the carpets best and get on with the real work.

Congress Search Is Here!

So you know how I've been promising the capability to search for congresspeople state-by-state? Well, that's still coming, but in the meantime, I have just put up a brand-spanking-new zip code search form! Now you can type your zip code on the right (five or nine digits), and your congresspeople will be displayed. If your zip code spans more than one congressional district, all the congresspeople that represent any part of your zip code will be displayed. When you click on one of them, you'll be treated to a list of all stupid bills and resolutions they've sponsored this year!

I've already used the form to discover that my representative has not sponsored one stupid resolution this year. Not. A. One. I knew there was a reason I liked the guy.

I will soon be adding the state search to the right as well, along with a longitude/latitude search (just because it's cool and I can). Enjoy!

Hooray for... store signs?

Yeah, that's right. In a brand-new grade A piece of stupidity, the House passed the following resolution:

House Resolution 298: Congratulating the on-premise sign industry for its contributions to the success of small businesses.

Alright, guys! You're doing a great job making signs for stores and businesses and stuff! Because the world would fall apart if it weren't for your valiant efforts!

What. The. Hell.

Seriously, here's the main piece of the legislation:

Resolved, That the House of Representatives (1) applauds the United States Small Business Administration for educating small business owners on the benefits of using well-placed, well-designed on-premise signs to overcome competitive disadvantages in the areas of marketing and advertising, and (2) encourages the on-premise sign industry to continue its efforts to produce a new and greater understanding of how to develop safer, more effective, and more affordable signage products so as to alleviate small businesses' competitive disadvantages in marketing and advertising.

Do I really need to say anything more about the stupidity of our government?

Breakfast: Congress Likes It

Nope, I'm not kidding you. During my brief absence, both the House and the senate passed breakfast resolutions! Here they are:

Senate Resolution 67: A resolution expressing the sense of the Senate that providing breakfast in schools through the national school breakfast program has a positive impact on the lives and classroom performance of low-income children.

House Resolution 210: Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that providing breakfast in schools through the National School Breakfast Program has a positive impact on classroom performance.

Yep, both the House and the Senate, in all their glory, felt the need to say how awesome the school breakfast program is. Did they pass legislation to allocate funds designated to expand or support the program? No. Did they create a commission to study its success and recommend similar programs in other areas? No. As usual, they patted themselves on the back and made a big show of how awesome they are.

Good job, guys.